It's been a while since I've had a photo shoot. I went back to back from shooting Miss 2059 to the movie Honored so I haven't had a lot of time for photos. But it's always fun to play and shoot. This is an incredibly close up shot of my face. I feel super vulnerable but I kind of like it because it's different. 

This was my first time working with Timothy, love how he shoots! It was super quick and fun. We've been meaning to shoot for a while now. We actually tried shooting in Chicago last year but our schedules didn't work out, so it was great to finally get to work together.

I'm loving this natural clean look by Chloe. I've never seen my face so clean! I feel a little naked without all my moles and beauty marks but I get that it works for the final images.   

It was all very last minute and spontaneous so we had a pretty small team, my friend Caroline helped me style and pick out the looks. She found this oversized sweater and I'm in love with the lace up back. I also love that this look has a boyish feel but the lace skirt makes it girly. I'll always love my sweats but lately, I've been into dresses. 

This is probably my favorite shot out of the bunch. I rarely like photos where I'm looking directly into camera. That always makes me feel uncomfortable, so you'll catch me looking down or away for most of my instagram photos. Maybe because as an actor you're never supposed to look into the lens. I'm definitely more of an actor than a model so looking into the lens always makes me feel like I'm breaking the rules. But here I feel like I actually connected, and not in an awkward way. 

Someone once asked me why we never smile during shoots, honestly... I have no idea and I'm always smiling a bunch but those images never make the cut. I'm not sure why? 

Maybe it's because when we're smiling the attention goes to our face but a lot of these fashion style shoots are to showcase the wardrobe and not the model? I guess I should smile more since we're not really "modeling" the clothing. We're just shooting. *shrug*

Sweater & Lace Skirt: Zara
Boots: Louis Vuitton

Anyways, I'll share more for this shoot later. In the meantime, check out the video below to see what kind of silly things we do on set. We played a game of would you rather and some this or that questions!

Photographer: Timothy Fernandez
Make up & Hair: Chloe Schlossmann
Video: Eunice Lee

I found these candid phone shots my friend Caroline took of me on set. I love that I'm just awkwardly smiling in all of them, of course I included my mean mugging shot on the bottom right because I was looking in the mirror, probably practicing. Pretty different from the final images huh? Photo magic! 

Gold & Glossy

Here's a sneak peek at a shoot I did with Felix Mack. We did a quick 3 look shoot and this was one of the looks. Glossy gold eyes & glossy lips. I look a little different but I love these! I love trying new looks and transforming for photo shoots. It's like becoming a new person.

Someone recently asked me - how do you model? I don't know if I can answer that because I'm not really a model. But when I get my photo taken, I always think about connecting with the photographer. The way dancers connect and are in tune with each others movements. I also try to think of a mood or a feeling and emulate it. Like a chameleon. If the clothes are fun and colorful I generally vibe off that feeling and the energy is high and exciting. If the make up and wardrobe is moody then I'll think mysterious or bad ass. We're all working together to either bring a character to life or to capture the true essence of an individual. 

It's fun to be able to tell a story through the photographs. I definitely think the shots Felix took of me tell a story. What do you think? What do you think this girls story is? 

More coming soon! 

Photography by Felix Mack
Make up by Illyne Michel 

We should stop saying Beauty is Pain

I know everyone's heard it and said it. I'm guilty of saying it. Especially on days when I have to wear crazy heels to events and my feet are basically bleeding minutes after putting them on. If I didn't have a stylist forcing me to wear heels, I'd show up to the red carpet in sneakers. Would that be such a crime? Probably. When it comes to heels - beauty is pain. But why do we do this to ourselves? Is it because we feel the need to conform to a society that says you have to do xyz to be beautiful? Is our worth only based on our physical attributes? 

If we took a survey asking people what they thought was beautiful I don't think the answers would be high heels, waxing, corsets, face lifts, false lashes, eyebrow threading, excessive dieting etc... 

If beauty is pain, we're implying that beauty is achieved by suffering and overcoming uncomfortable steps to become beautiful. When in reality, beauty is within and beauty is unique to every individual. Why are we suffering to fit a mold that isn't who we are? 

Even Drake says, Sweat pants, hair tied, chillin' with no make-up on, that's when you're the prettiest.. But in all realness, it's great to get dolled up every once in a while and rock those killer heels but don't do that to your body every day. 

Seriously, I'm not saying throw away your heels, skinny jeans and make up. I have a collection of heels I love. I actually like looking at them more than wearing them. They're works of art. But it's about balance. It's nice to feel pretty, last week my girlfriends and I decided we would spend an hour getting ready - curling our hair, putting make up on, heels, fancy clothes and go out for a nice dinner. We actually had a lot of fun, it didn't feel painful. But at the end of they night oh boy did my feet hurt. My friend gave up on her shoes after dinner. I believe she was barefoot on the way home. We laughed and said, "lets just stick to sweats & sneakers next week".

You're beautiful with a naked smile and you don't need long eyelashes to see a sparkle in your eyes. Accept and love yourself for who you are, bare and natural. Knowing who you are will give you the confidence that glows beauty and joy from the inside.

I covered this song Try by Colbie Caillat last year because she's saying exactly what I want to say to all of you. You're beautiful just the way you are.  

Put your make-up on
Get your nails done
Curl your hair
Run the extra mile
Keep it slim so they like you, do they like you?

Wait a second,
Why, should you care, what they think of you
When you’re all alone, by yourself, do you like you?
Do you like you?

You don’t have to try so hard
You don’t have to, give it all away

Share this with a friend who might need a reminder that she or he is beautiful. What makes you feel beautiful? Comment below. 

New York

One of my favorite experiences during Fashion Week last year was shooting with Leonardo Corredor. It took me so far out of my comfort zone. But I loved it. I never got to share all of the photos so I figured I'd do that here.

This was hands down my favorite images from the shoot. I'm not quite sure why but it makes me feel like a painting and I'm honored to feel like my image became art. 

My dreams of being tall come true in photoshoots with long gowns and killer heels. But thank you Leo, this photo gives me life. 

I rarely shoot anything like this. I think it's because I feel vulnerable & naked. Or just plain awkward. But I'm happy we did it, I love how it turned out and I think I'll look back at it many years from now and be happy that I was comfortable enough to take this photo, despite the tiny body suit and snow falling on me in the -0 degree weather. Yes, it was snowing while I took this photo and yes, I was standing outside on the busy streets of New York. Half naked. I got quite a number of funny looks. 

This is probably my second favorite photo of the batch. I love it because it makes me feel so sexy and I rarely feel sexy. I also love the hair naturally falling in my face. I don't know why but I really love hair in the face. I almost wish I always had hair in my face like Violet from The Incredibles. 

I really fear taking photos straight on like this. But when you have a good glam team it sure does build the confidence. Thank you Jonathan for making my face look like this. This photo also freaked me out a bit because people kept commenting that I looked like TOP from Big Bang, I wasn't sure if that was an insult or a compliement. But I'll choose to take it as a compliment. Maybe we can play siblings one day. 

Photography - Leonardo Corredor | Make up - Jonathan Wu | Nails - Sooah | Hair - Kat Koncept | Styling - Allan Troy

Do we always want what we don't have?

I shot with Luke Rieke last week, an incredibly talented photographer from the East Coast. We worked with Sara Tagaloa & Katie Qian both talented and sweet women. I shared a couple of the photos on my instagram with a caption mentioning how excited I was about these shots because of my "fake" freckles. But I was shocked to see how many of my freckled friends commented that I was crazy for wanting freckles. Or saying that they hated their freckles. I feel like freckles bring so much character to a face. I have a few moles, or "spots" on my face and when I was young my dad used to joke and say an ant walked around my face and pooped everywhere. I thought they were weird until he said that. Then I felt like it was special, he made something I was insecure about into a funny story. So whenever someone would point them out, I'd proudly say "an ant pooped all over my face" and we'd laugh together.

People often define beauty as symmetry and maybe freckles are not thought to be beautiful because they're not symmetrical or in any order. But what I've noticed is when photographers photoshop them out or make up artists cover them up, my face looks naked. I hate it. They're a part of my face and they're a part of me. I guess I don't find perfection to be beautiful. I honestly think perfection is boring. A crooked smile has so much depth. Every wrinkle has a memory. Every scar has a story.

Freckles are beautiful, unique and can never be replicated. I've had them painted on for two shoots and I find myself asking more and more "can we do freckles"? It might even be a trend, I hear people are getting them tattooed onto their faces these days. But I guess this just comes to show how much the grass is greener on the other side. I have straight hair so I want curly hair. I'm short so I want to be tall. My tall girl friends want to be short. I have double eyelids but I want monolids. While my friends with monolids get surgery for double eye lids. Do we always want what we don't have? 

I know I'm guilty of it. I guess that's why I love acting so much. Stepping into someone else's shoes and living a different life for a day, a moment or a series. My favorite part of photoshoots is transforming into someone else or being the character I don't have the confidence to be in real life. Or even something as terrifying as stripping away the layers and being vulnerable. 

I think I find realness to be the most beautiful. But it's hard. Especially with the pressure to be perfect. Honestly when I look at these images, my first initial thought is I look ugly. Disclaimer: I asked Sara (the make up artist) if we could go with this look, I wanted this no lashes, no liner and I think she did an amazing job. But I love false lashes and lash extensions, they make me feel beautiful and I used to not be able to leave the house without eyeliner but this year I've gone months without. I'm trying to love myself without all the glitz and glam. At least for this season. Don't get me wrong, I think it's great to get dolled up and feel beautiful but I also think it's important to be able to look at yourself as who you are and love that face underneath all the make up.