Paris Paris Paris

A beautiful city that will truly inspire you. I'm not sure if its the history, the design or just the Parisian air but it's quite the romantic city. Paris makes you want to fall in love or at least be in love. It's also the capital of fashion, I don't know all the reasons but I like to believe it's because it's always been classic & chic. 

This was my first time working with a team in Paris and I had an amazing time shooting this Fashion story. 

Top & pants: Drome 
Mini Bag & Gloves: Azzedine Alaia 
Hat: Laulhere 

This Lou De Betoly dress was stunning. I need this for my next party or just to lounge around in at my house.

A stunning dress or a gown can make you feel glamorous and beautiful but there's just something about a power suit that really makes me feel amazing. Maybe it's because I don't find myself in this type of look very often but this was my favorite look from the entire shoot! Who says a girl can't rock a mans style? 

Oversized jacket: Sadak
Beret: Azzedine Alaia
Earrings: Lanvin

Total look: Off-white
Earrings: Louis Vuitton

Absolutely in LOVE with the dress & bag combo from Off-White. Straight off the runway, fire. 

Top & Pants: Drome
Mini Bag & Gloves: Azzedine Alaia
Hat: Laulhere

Total Look: Azzedine Alaia

Total Look: Off-white

Dress & belt: Azzedine Alaia
Hat: Laulhere

It must be the Parisian Style and team but this is my favorite Fashion Shoot & Video we have shot up to date! Would you agree? 

Give it up for the phenomenal team! 

Photographer: Florian https://www.instagram.com/floriansaez
Sylist: Sarah https://www.instagram.com/sarahcazeneuvestylist
Make up artist: Cyril https://www.instagram.com/cyrillaine
Hair Stylist: Oliver https://www.instagram.com/hairbyolivierlebrun
Hair Assistant: Michael https://www.instagram.com/spraythanh
Video: Eunice https://www.instagram.com/eunibugg
 

It's been a while since I've had a photo shoot. I went back to back from shooting Miss 2059 to the movie Honored so I haven't had a lot of time for photos. But it's always fun to play and shoot. This is an incredibly close up shot of my face. I feel super vulnerable but I kind of like it because it's different. 

This was my first time working with Timothy, love how he shoots! It was super quick and fun. We've been meaning to shoot for a while now. We actually tried shooting in Chicago last year but our schedules didn't work out, so it was great to finally get to work together.

I'm loving this natural clean look by Chloe. I've never seen my face so clean! I feel a little naked without all my moles and beauty marks but I get that it works for the final images.   

It was all very last minute and spontaneous so we had a pretty small team, my friend Caroline helped me style and pick out the looks. She found this oversized sweater and I'm in love with the lace up back. I also love that this look has a boyish feel but the lace skirt makes it girly. I'll always love my sweats but lately, I've been into dresses. 

This is probably my favorite shot out of the bunch. I rarely like photos where I'm looking directly into camera. That always makes me feel uncomfortable, so you'll catch me looking down or away for most of my instagram photos. Maybe because as an actor you're never supposed to look into the lens. I'm definitely more of an actor than a model so looking into the lens always makes me feel like I'm breaking the rules. But here I feel like I actually connected, and not in an awkward way. 

Someone once asked me why we never smile during shoots, honestly... I have no idea and I'm always smiling a bunch but those images never make the cut. I'm not sure why? 

Maybe it's because when we're smiling the attention goes to our face but a lot of these fashion style shoots are to showcase the wardrobe and not the model? I guess I should smile more since we're not really "modeling" the clothing. We're just shooting. *shrug*

Sweater & Lace Skirt: Zara
Boots: Louis Vuitton

Anyways, I'll share more for this shoot later. In the meantime, check out the video below to see what kind of silly things we do on set. We played a game of would you rather and some this or that questions!

Photographer: Timothy Fernandez
Make up & Hair: Chloe Schlossmann
Video: Eunice Lee

I found these candid phone shots my friend Caroline took of me on set. I love that I'm just awkwardly smiling in all of them, of course I included my mean mugging shot on the bottom right because I was looking in the mirror, probably practicing. Pretty different from the final images huh? Photo magic! 

Throwback Thursday To Vintage Dreaming

Remember that vintage shoot I had in New York? I still haven't had a chance to upload all the photos and share them with you. This was my absolute favorite look from the entire shoot. Kaitlyn is amazing, the whole vibe and energy of the shoot was so much fun. I think she sent me about 60+ photos from this look alone. I've narrowed it down to my favorites. 

I love all the colors and textures of this shoot. It's amazing what set design can do to change the environment and feel of a shoot. 

Will be sharing more photos from this shoot... stay tuned! 

Photographer: Kaitlyn Mikayla
Stylists: Ryan & Mandi of Hill People
Hair: Goldy Ilowitz
Makeup: Michelle Singh

Dreaming Vintage

The weekends seem to be shorter and shorter. It's already Monday and I feel like time is slipping through my fingers. Can you believe we're already half way through the year?  

These days I feel like I'm definitely doing a lot of waiting. Waiting for good news or the right phone call. The business of acting is really the waiting game, before you book the job and even when you book the job. There's a fairly common phrase that I find to be very true in this line of work -- We're paid to wait, we throw the acting in for free. Luckily, this year has been pretty consistent with work, just not the show I want to "live on" or the film that really excites me. So the waiting continues.

Despite my somber face, I was having a lot of fun at this shoot. I love vintage trinkets and vintage clothes, I feel like they're not just things, vintage pieces have a story. 

I wonder what pieces from 2017 will end up being vintage to those in the future? Who knew "mom jeans" from the 90's would make such a strong comeback. I personally love them. I was never a fan of the ultra low waisted jeans. 

Here I am dreaming, as usual, about food. The other day I was going to lunch - very excited - and as my friend and I were walking in I was already planning out what we should eat for dinner. He pointed out how weird that was of me, I guess I've always thought that was normal. You guys don't do that? I'm pretty sure the most exciting thing for me every morning is - what am I going to eat today?!

I'll be sharing more photos from this shoot but incase you missed it, here's the behind the scenes shot by my lovely friend Eunice Lee.

Photographer: Kaitlyn Mikayla
Stylists: Ryan & Mandi of Hill People
Hair: Goldy Ilowitz
Makeup: Michelle Singh

Late Night Shoot in NYC

Did a late night shoot in New York after my Leonard & Church event a couple weeks ago. Here are some of the shots as well as the behind the scenes video!

I'm loving this slicked back hair and cobalt blue shadow. So dramatic! I rarely wear bold colors on my eyes in real life but I really like it for photoshoots. Would you guys rock this blue?  

Top Manfredonia NY
Jacket Nicholas K

This Levi’s denim jumpsuit was one of my favorite pieces! I could live in all kinds of jumpsuits. 

This matching two piece from Nicholas K was also a really cute outfit. I love how it's so light and simple, I just wish it didn't wrinkle so easily! 

I really love the lips on this last clean beauty look! This is a fairly easy beauty trend to try, I've been mixing a lot of different lip colors for two toned lips & ombre lips! Do you guys like this trend?
Black top Clavin Klein
Earings H&M

Photographer: Matt Brown 
Stylist: Shay Dixon
Make Up & Hair: Abraham Sprinkle
BTS: Eunice Lee
 

Weekend Getaway Outfit Ideas!

Spruce up your casual denim and tee look with two toned jeans and a colorful backpack!

I'm obsessed with these jeans. I've worn them so much the last few months. It's definitely one of my new favorite trends this year. It easy to style and makes a simple outfit interesting. Not to mention they're super comfortable because they're not that tight. I'm starting to really hate skinny jeans.  

Honestly, I can't wear jeans unless I can sit in them comfortably. I really don't understand how people wear ultra tight skinny jeans. Once again I'm reminded of Beauty is pain - I hate that phrase. When I'm going on vacation I generally only pack sneakers and flats, comfort is my best friend.

Of course I can't leave the house without my Leonard & Church (fyi we might be discontinuing this style, The Park, very soon).

I love this off the shoulder ruffle top I got last year. It's perfect for avoiding those shoulder tan lines! And easy for mixing and matching!

This linen button down is my favorite, I wear it with everything! This is also the same linen button down I threw over the baby tee and jeans (pictured above).

This slip dress is really comfortable and also a great cover up over swimwear if you're headed to the beach. I styled it very casual but you can also throw on some heels and dress it up for the evening!

Look at Chewy photobombing me as usual... 

Maxi dresses are the best, they're comfortable and easy to pack. I really like that this one's fitted at the waist and gives me some shape but it's still light weight and soft. Perfect for vacations, beach or just relaxing! Dresses are great for trips because they're no brainers and comfortable. You just put it on and you're done! No need to "match" a top and bottom, who wants to be thinking during a time you should be relaxing? Not me! 

Always.. every shoot. I must stop to cuddle with Chew chew... 

Karen came out to shoot some photos and hang as well, we joked that it almost looks like an engagement shoot... too funny. 

This is my girl Eunice! She has been amazing in helping me keep up with most of the video content on my youtube channel the last couple months! Make sure to follow her and show her some love! 

Here's a video of all the looks, enjoy!

Cheers! Enjoy the weekend!

Photography by: Robby M
BTS Video by: Eunice Lee

Off the Shoulders Ruffle Top: Nicholas 
Beach Bag: Soeur Du Maroc
Sandals: Soludos
White Linen Top: Equipment
Stripped Dress: Equipment
Printed Maxi Dress: Forever 21 (sold out, here's something similar)
Two Toned Jeans: AG Phoebe
White Graphic Shirt: Forever 21 (sold out, here's something similar)
White Sneakers: Adidas
Red Watch: Leonard & Church
Red BackPack: Vince Camuto
Floral Dress: Alice & Olivia 

Jumping Around

Whenever I try to take a photo of Chewy she looks away but anytime someone is taking a photo of me, she needs to be right in front of me to get in the shot. It's hilarious. Especially when I'm at home self taping an audition or filming a video, she'll walk right into frame. Silly girl. 

Yes dear?

I believe I was like "please move Chewy, mommy is trying to shoot some jumping photos". 

"Oh yea? Look at meeee, I can jump!" - Chewy 

We shot a couple snaps but then I ended up just playing with Chewy. 

Here's one attempt. Looks like I'm getting beat up by some unknown force. 

This is me trying to fly and regretting all the pizza I ate. 

Trying to sit cross legged in the air isn't an easy task. 

Also, these were not photoshopped to make it look like I was jumping higher than I actually was. Key to jumping photos? Ask your photographer, nicely, to get as low as he or she can! All about the angle baby! 

Photo Credit: Robby M

Stop and smell the flowers

My friends call me a workaholic, but I like being busy. I feel restless when I'm not productive or stagnant. Sometimes I get so caught up, I forget how important it is to rest and recharge. I actually got pretty sick this last week and almost hit a point of burning out. We're definitely not meant to work 24/7... it's just not healthy.

I've been so busy I haven't even had time to share all the photos we shot over a month ago when my friends Daniel & Rob visited California. We spent a day in Hermosa Beach and I shot a quick video (sharing soon) and some photos.

Daniel aka the violin master snapped a few photos of me with Robby's camera, not bad! My friends are so talented. I'm always impressed and challenged to do better by my multi-talented friends. But I also feel like these days, if you're in the business of the arts. You have to be flexible and be willing to learn every part of the business to survive. So many of my friends who are talented film makers, editors, photographers are also talented musicians and actors.

Being an artist is hard, there's little to no structure, you're often waiting for opportunities and doing a lot of free work. But it's really amazing to look back at the last 10 years and see how much the internet has changed the game. New media and social media has helped people create their own opportunities. I was always a little slow to catch on but I'm doing my best now and learning as I go.

It's quite the grind but we do it because we love it, right?

So with all the pressure of having to do it all, how do we keep up? These days I feel like I barely have time to sleep trying to upkeep my youtube channel, this blog, auditions, filming, recording music, Leonard & Church and social media. Who knew social media would become such a big part of the job. I remember just a few years ago when I refused to start instagram because I thought Facebook and Twitter alone were hard enough to manage.

If you've been following this blog from the beginning you know I attempted a crazy task. I thought I would be able to blog every day. I don't regret trying but I'm glad I let go of that goal. I think maybe once a week is a bit more reasonable. 

I also think as much as I want to do it all. Balance is crucial, I really need to remember to take breaks and recharge.

It's nice to be home, spend some time with my friends and reflect on life. If you just work nonstop, one day you'll be done and you won't even remember how you got there. That's often how I feel about my time on Teen Wolf. It was just so many hours, nonstop filming and it all happened so fast. Honestly, when it ended, I didn't even realize it had been a few years. It felt like I had just started filming the show. I wish that I had taken moments to really reflect on the experiences and enjoyed the experience while it was happening. I feel like that's also what happened to me in college, I was in such a rush to get out and so stressed with all the school work that by the time I left, there wasn't much I remembered from my college life. I was never in the moment.

That's probably my only regret.

But these days I'm actively trying to be very present and in the moment. Instead of just thinking of all the things I need to do or going through the motions of life. This blog has actually been very helpful, it's like a diary that helps me process my thoughts and appreciate the day to day.

I've been a part of my worship band at church for the last 9 years. It's kind of one of the few things that no matter how tired I am, I love to do. It refuels my soul and gets me right back on my feet when I'm feeling exhausted. Last night we were jamming, preparing for Sunday worship and even though it was just a few hours it helped me recharge.

So no matter how busy you are, find something that helps you refuel. We're a little more complicated than machines, we need more than just sleep and food to keep going. I know I need my community, friends, encouragement, love, time alone and my relationship with God. Figure out what it is you need to have balance.

Don't rush through life, regardless of how stressful and difficult your life may be. Enjoy the experiences both good and bad because it's just a chapter or a season of your life and it'll pass before you know it.

I know it sounds cheesy but stop and smell the flowers every once in a while and remember just how amazing and beautiful this life is. I've been noticing the flowers blooming when I'm walking Chewy and it's nice to take a moment just to say thanks for even a simple flower that smells nice.

Photography by Robby M & Daniel Jang

Dear Rainy Boston

I always love coming to Boston, this city has so much music, culture and art. I spent 3 days working on music with some amazing friends at Berklee College of Music & Ilban Music. I also got to reunite with friends in Boston like Koo, Rob, Daniel, Becca and Michael and make MORE music. Medicine to my soul. 

I can't wait to share all the music we recorded. 

Yesterday was interesting, kind of had a rough start to the night. The car dropped me off a little far from the venue, I ended up lost and stuck in the rain with some intense heels. Luckily I made it to the venue on time, I was relieved to have found it and to be out of the rain. But right when I walked in one of the guys was like "wow, I thought she'd be taller". He said it in a very disgusted tone. I literally had one of those moments where I wanted to crawl in a hole and die. I actually hear this all the time. Normally I just brush it off, but I was wet, cold, flustered and nervous about my speech. It definitely did not sit well with me. I started having a mini panic attack. Luckily, I was early, so I had about 30 minutes before the guests showed up to get my head back in the right place. 

I was greeted by many kind faces and smiles but it's interesting how the negative always sticks. It's like comments, yes, I read all the comments. I'm always told I should stop but I can't help it. I like to stay connected. There might be a hundred good comments but the bad one still stings the heart. Luckily online comments don't nearly bother me as much anymore. It's the ones in person that are the hardest to swallow. 

You have to have thick skin in this industry but at the end of the day, we're all human. I might be smiling at you but I too have feelings, I cry, I feel sad and worthless. Nature of the business but one I'll never get used to.

I'm frustrated at myself that I'm not used to it. I'm frustrated that it still bothers me, I should be stronger and tougher but I'm not. The thing is, I hear it all the time. You look so different in real life, you're so much shorter than I thought. Yes, when we film I stand on an apple box all the time because I'm short. Yes, when we take photos, photographers get on the ground and shoot bottom up because I'm short. It's not a secret I'm short. Honestly, I used to hate being short but I don't mind it anymore. I think it's a height that fits me and works for me. What's wrong with being short? Nothing! But I hate how people comment about it as if I'm such a disappointment. It makes me feel like an ugly zoo animal. 

Sometimes it's not even said to my face, I'll be a couple feet away... but I can clearly hear you when you say, she's not even that pretty, she's not that good at singing, she's on some stupid teen show, she's not that talented, I don't even like her but I want to take a picture with her for likes. 

I can't even tell you how many times this has happened and how uncomfortable it feels when someone says something like this, then asks me for a picture. I awkwardly say yes and take the photo with them as my soul slowly dies. *sigh* I hate myself for not saying no. I hate myself for not standing up for myself. Sometimes I wish I had a come back or I wish I had the confidence to say something but I signed up for this. I guess I chose to be a zoo animal so I'm not allowed to complain. But honestly this is just a fraction of the things I hear, some of it's really not worth repeating but all of it has the same result. It still makes me want to stop and disappear. I just wish some people had manners and were a little more considerate. It doesn't surprise me when people in the public fall into drugs, addiction, alcohol, depression and suicide. If I didn't have my faith and I didn't have my community, I'd be right there with them. 

Didn't mean to take such a dark turn on this post, I guess my venting got a little out of hand. But this is a safe place right? 

Anyways, regardless of what happened, I was thankful for my friends, both old and new, and everyone who showed up to support me. Thank you. 

It was such a different format from my usual University chats. Definitely terrifying but oddly enough, it worked out. The spot light was blinding and I felt so small on the big stage but being in such an uncomfortable element forced me to really commit and be present. I just kept my speech really honest, maybe too honest. Not as eloquent and graceful as I would have hoped but I'm an actor not a writer or a public speaker, I'm usually better at reciting someone else's writing. But all the laughter was comforting and I really appreciated everyone who told me they connected and related with the talk afterwards. 

As much as it scares me, I love these talks because I get a chance to be raw and real - kind of like this blog. Connecting with you guys is really everything. 

I'm still shocked I get to do this. Shocked someone wants to actually hear about my life and my story. Even though I feel inadequate I'm happy that sharing my failures and experiences can inspire and bring you hope. 

The event ran long so we left around midnight, the roads were empty and glossed over from the rain. Of course we had to stop the car to run out and snap a few photos. Oh how I love these 5 minute photoshoots.

This is me. All 5'3.5 of me. Thanks to my amazing friend Robby for shooting me and making me feel fabulous. To all my fellow short friends out there. You're amazing. Don't let anyone make you feel small. Literally and figuratively. 

Don't be scared to walk on a thin line. Just go and take that first step.

Sometimes you have to slow down and enjoy the journey. Life isn't a sprint, it's a marathon.

Don't let anyone stop you from being who you're meant to be. 

Your mouth can be a powerful tool, uplifting or poisonous. Be careful with your words. Once they are said they can only be forgiven, never forgotten.

All photography by Robby M
Dress: Milly - Vanessa Cocktail Dress
Shoes: YSL - Slingback Pump

Gold & Glossy

Here's a sneak peek at a shoot I did with Felix Mack. We did a quick 3 look shoot and this was one of the looks. Glossy gold eyes & glossy lips. I look a little different but I love these! I love trying new looks and transforming for photo shoots. It's like becoming a new person.

Someone recently asked me - how do you model? I don't know if I can answer that because I'm not really a model. But when I get my photo taken, I always think about connecting with the photographer. The way dancers connect and are in tune with each others movements. I also try to think of a mood or a feeling and emulate it. Like a chameleon. If the clothes are fun and colorful I generally vibe off that feeling and the energy is high and exciting. If the make up and wardrobe is moody then I'll think mysterious or bad ass. We're all working together to either bring a character to life or to capture the true essence of an individual. 

It's fun to be able to tell a story through the photographs. I definitely think the shots Felix took of me tell a story. What do you think? What do you think this girls story is? 

More coming soon! 

Photography by Felix Mack
Make up by Illyne Michel 

Easy Layers for all year round

This was actually terrifying!! If you follow my instagram, you saw the story when we were taking these pictures, I was shaking! I don't have a fear of heights but this definitely got the nerves going. 

Every once in a while I forget that Los Angeles is quite the beautiful city. I get caught up in all the traffic, pollution, population, angry people and forget that some people actually come here to vacation! I need more moments like this, to enjoy the city I live in. 

I love this infantry jacket over a sweater or a basic t-shirt. It's the perfect layering piece! 

Shooting with Robby is always fun. We stumbled onto this beautiful Japanese Garden. Love that sun peeping through in these shots! 

I was totally tempted to climb this, but I didn't want to break it. Fun fact, when I was little, I loved climbing everything. I had a bunch of tree forts I built as well, I was a total tomboy. 

Change up your basic outfit with a different layering piece. Gives a person a totally different vibe. What do you guys think? Infantry jacket or the Silk Bomber? 

See all the different looks I mixed & matched with layers plus more in my newest video! 

All photography by Robby M
Video by Eunice Lee

Grey Lace Up Sweater: Pam & Gela
Green Infantry Jacket: Current Elliott
Silk Bomber: Equipment
Star Tank: Pam & Gela
 

Floral Bomber & Leathers

Ran around downtown Los Angeles with some friends from out of town a few weeks ago. We shot some photos and video, will be sharing the rest tomorrow! I LOVE these pants, I actually bought them over 5 years ago! I think they're so cool because of the double layer waist, almost looks like I'm wearing leather boxers under these black slacks.

I got this floral bomber in Hong Kong a couple years ago. No label and no brand, would you believe it was less than $25 dollars? I wasn't sure if I loved it, I didn't get to try it on. See, that's the catch of these street markets in Hong Kong. It's cheap, but you're not allowed to try anything on and it's mostly One Size Fits All. Which is the worst, because it definitely "doesn't fit all". Shopping can be discouraging enough as is when clothes just don't seem to fit right or work with your body type. I actually ended up giving away about half of the things I bought in Hong Kong to my friends, my loss, their gain! Most of the pieces were too small. If this happens to you, don't let it bother you! You're definitely not alone. 

Do you guys miss my purple locks? I almost don't recognize myself anymore. 

So for this second look, I just changed my outerwear. You'll see more of the look in my video tomorrow but I love how you can completely flip the vibe and feel of a look with a simple change of jacket. 

Same basic crop tank and pants, I just layered it with a sweater vest and a leather jacket from All Saints. 

I love layering with my leather jackets but sometimes the sleeves feel too stuffy, so vests are always a go to for me, almost looks like a scarf. And as usual, a leather back pack and sneakers. 

I love my patent leather sneakers with this outfit because it gives this fairly monochromatic look a nice little pop! I've had this Alexander Wang backpack for years as well, love all the exposed zippers. 

Will be posting a new video tomorrow including these looks and more! Stay tuned. 

All photography by Robby M

Vultures in the Media, Past is past

I really hate reading the news these days. Everything makes me angry. 

All the injustice. Discrimination. Abuse of Power. So many people with a voice and the power to do good, completely waste it and take advantage of it.

Pepsi attempted to commercialize and trivialize the Black Lives Matter movement and other protests across the country. Completely shameful and inappropriate.

Then United airlines decided to drag an Asian man off the plane because he wouldn't volunteer to give up his seat. I was angry at United, angry at the Chicago Police. But I am beyond angry and ashamed of the media. This man was humiliated, dragged and pained by a multibillion dollar entity. Was it necessary to kick him further down the hole and air out his dirty laundry? What does his past have to do with the injustice he experienced? Why would you humiliate someone who's probably already hit their ultimate low? No law suit or apology with be able to fix the damage that's already been done. I don't know David Dao, but I'm sorry. 

What people in the media will do for a viral article, it makes me sick to my stomach. This is not the news. 

All Photography by Luke Rieke
Make Up & Hair by Sara Tagaloa
Wardrobe Styling by Katie Qian
Assisted by Eunice Lee

How I style that Oversized Trench

I got this trench last year in Korea at Seoul Fashion week. I really love it, it's a great staple piece to have in the closet. 

I remember when I initially tried on the trench, everyone said it was too big. I was wearing pants, sneakers and a wide top with this trench, so I definitely got lost in the clothes. 

The safe rule of thumb, at least for me, if you're going to go oversized on anything, mix it with something more fitted. I styled it with this top with a tie neck, corduroy skirt and my thigh highs to add some height. Showing a little bit of leg can go a long way. Especially if you're petite like me!

I feel like this jacket makes this fairly casual outfit, feel more sofisticated and dressy at the same time.

It also makes the look appear to be more expensive then it really is. That's something I'm always trying to do, find pieces that look nice, without breaking the wallet. This top was something around $8 from Forever 21 and the skirt was less than $24 from Nordstroms. These Stuart Weitzman boots I've had for a few years and they were expensive but I wear them all the time, well worth it. 

I tried to find a link for this trench but they don't seem to sell it anymore, it was a few hundred dollars - Jain Song is the designer but I know there are tons of great oversized trenches out there!

Video coming soon on the channel so you can get a better feel for how it looks and see how it moves! 

Photography by Robby M 

Instagram life vs Real life

I flew into Syracuse yesterday for my talk today. The city welcomed me with wind & snow so I stayed in the hotel last night. Figured I'd grab some wine at the hotel bar and ended up with a pretty funny encounter.

I was in my typical attire - hoodie, sweats and no make up. Traveling with my assistant so we were keeping it low key.

It was a fairly quiet hotel bar. No more than 4 guests. Most the evening was just us and the bartender.

Towards the end of the night, the bartender asked if I was Arden Cho, his boss had texted him asking to confirm because she had suspicions it was me. I laughed, said yes, then of course we started chatting about work, life, etc. Later one of the other customers chimed in because he was surprised he had found me on instagram.

Wow it's so cool you can have a disguise in real life vs instagram. You look so different. I laughed and said, yes, I don't have my face on. I guess I never considered it a disguise because this is my norm, but it's funny to see the other perspective. I often hear things like - wow, you're SO short in real life or you look SO different. It definitely makes me a bit uneasy and insecure but I realize it's also a perspective. Maybe it's a gift that I look different in different environments and scenarios. But I know I usually feel like I'm invisible - which is probably what you wouldn't expect to hear from me. 

I guess sometimes I don't even realize how far instagram is from the reality. I use it mostly as my highlight reel or sharing my work. Also sharing moments from my life that I think are instagram worthy. I guess it definitely is no longer a reality. I'm not trying to be fake or hide who I am but I feel like I can't share everything or post too much because of the "instagram asthetic". I guess that's why I started this blog. I can be more authentic here. I feel safer on this platform and less judged. My instagram page isn't even aesthetically pleasing, I try to be because it's part of my job but I honestly have no clue how some people make their pages look so perfect. 

I also don't share certain parts of my life, like some of my close friends and their families or loved ones if they're not comfortable with the exposure. Not everyone signs up for this lifestlye or lack of privacy.

Anyways, this made me think instagram is really misleading, social media is also so deceiving. I fall victim to scrolling through and seeing other pages, feeling envious, jealous and sad. But then I know my page might have to same result for others. Which isn't my intent at all. Most of my posts are images from photoshoots where I have a team of people making me look way better than I do in real life.

Instagram is like a live photo album or a memory book of my work. It's not the reality. So I hope you can take it for what it is. If it's affected you negatively, I'm sorry. It's something I hope I can look back at when I'm 60 and tell my kids - mom used to be kind of cool.

All Photography by Luke Rieke
Make Up & Hair by Sara Tagaloa
Wardrobe Styling by Katie Qian
Assisted by Eunice Lee

TGIF!

So happy to share this last look from the shoot with Raul. Do you guys have a favorite? 

I've seen a few comments that I almost seem like a different person these days with my new hair. I actually agree, but I'm not sure it's just the hair. I think it might be the way I'm living life these days. This year has been all about living in the moment. Appreciating more of what I have, being thankful and doing my best to learn!

This attitude has given me a new level of confidence and a renewed zest for life. Turn the bad into something beautiful!

 Or maybe it is just the hair. 

Either way, I think change is good. The same way the seasons change, I think it's important to grow and adjust to your surroundings and your current situation. Things aren't always going to go as planned. Nothing has gone according to my plan. But that's okay. I'm sure when I get to the end of my story, I'll look back and say - God was a much better writer. 

It's hard to appreciate what you have and stay positive during difficult seasons of life. But I truly believe hardships make you who you are. They shape your character and as much as I hate these moments, I know I'll be thankful. These struggles will make the successes that much more satisfying. If it was easy, everyone would do it. 

Enjoy your last work day or school day for the week! I work on Saturdays as well so cheers to those who also work everyday! 

Photography by Raul Romo
Styling by Katie Qian
Make up & Hair by Francie Tomalonis
Bts by Eunice Lee

It's never too late to learn

When I was younger I felt like I knew so much but the older I get I feel like I don't know anything at all. No matter how much you know, there is an infinite amount of things that you don't know.

"The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing." - Socrates. 

I'm always trying to stay in tune with what's happening around the world but it's hard to believe everything you hear these days. The media creates news that is often faulty or biased. The information we receive is so curated and everyone is trying to be first with whatever story may be viral.

Can I see what's out there, what is actually happening in this world? How can we really know from behind our computer screens? 

I envy those who can just drop everything and travel the world. Learning and absorbing all the different cultures.  

If I could rewind back to college and do it again there are so many things I would change. When I was in school I was in such a hurry to graduate and become an adult. I wish someone told me back then to slow down. 

I wish I could go back to the time when my only responsibilities were to go to class and to learn. It's such a privilege to be able to learn and get an education. I think a lot of people take that for granted, I know I did. 

Luckily it's never too late to learn, it just gets a little busier as we get older. I try to learn something new every day. I'm still discovering my voice and learning how to sing as I shared a few weeks ago. 

Search for answers, seek the truth. You can't learn anything if you think you already know. If you open your mind and realize that you may be wrong or mistaken, you might be ready to learn.

All Photography by Luke Rieke
Make Up & Hair by Sara Tagaloa
Wardrobe Styling by Katie Qian
Assisted by Eunice Lee

Comin at Monday like...

I'm ready for whatever this weeks got in store for me! Positive mind, positive vibes, positive life. 

This is how I stare down anyone who gets in my way. 

Photography by Raul Romo
Styling by Katie Qian
Make up & Hair by Francie Tomalonis
Bts by Eunice Lee

Happy Sunday

Headed out early today, so I'll just share one quick look from the shoot with Raul! 

I've had these boots for over a year and I'm so happy I finally got to wear them! 

Curious what it's like when we shoot? Here's a glimpse into our day of shooting! Stay tuned for more photos from this shoot. 

Photography by Raul Romo
Styling by Katie Qian
Make up & Hair by Francie Tomalonis
Bts by Eunice Lee

Every BODY is beautiful.

All through out high school and college, I really struggled with my weight and accepting my body. I've always wanted to be under a 100lbs. Keep in my mind I have not been under 100lbs since I was in middle school. I was really into sports and a healthy lifestyle so I had too much muscle to be that thin. But I still wanted it, because I thought that was what would make me beautiful.

I don't know how much I weigh now but I know for sure - it isn't close to 100lbs. I just stopped weighing myself. The number and size doesn't matter. How you feel matters and you should feel great in your skin and your body. 

In the states I feel like I'm generally still on the smaller side but when I go to Asia, I'm definitely considered large. I know this may seem shocking - it was for me as well. But it's just different cultural standards. Every time I want to work in Asia, I'm told I need to lose at least 40lbs. I physically can't do it and I don't think that's healthy for my body type and frame. I have friends who are rail thin and they eat as much as I do. So it's not about how much or little you eat or how often you work out. Everyone has a different body type. You need to embrace yours and figure out what works for you. I know starving -- doesn't work for me. 

Don't squeeze into a 25 skinny jean if it gives you muffin top and you can't breathe. Find a pair that fits your body and compliments your shape. I'm normally a 26 but in some stores I wear up to a 28 if they run small. I don't think that means I got fat, it's just a number. Some brands I'm an XS and others I'm a M, sometimes I'm a 2 and sometimes I'm a 4. We have all these numbers and labels we look at that constantly force us to judge our bodies. But no one really cares but you. Being a size 0 isn't going to bring you more love. 

I know it's hard not to compare ourselves to the people we follow or see on a daily basis on our feeds. But try not to judge others and yourself. Just enjoy it for what it is, a picture. It's okay to admire for a moment, I do all the time. "Wow, she's so skinny... she's so tall... she's so perfect". But to someone else she might be too skinny or too tall. No one is perfect. Everyone has a different ideal of beauty and you have to accept yourself as beautiful first before anyone else can. 

Dress Wow Couture, Faux Fur Jacket OTT Dubai

Photography by Raul Romo
Styling by Katie Qian
Make up & Hair by Francie Tomalonis
Bts by Eunice Lee